Friends, why and when
Don’t interrupt my genius! said Zim to Ger. Invader Zim, the hottest thing to watch from 7pm till 30 minutes later. Invader Zim is an ambitious (to say the least) alien on a mission on earth, im not sure what his actually mission is but he trys to do lots of crazy things, with the help of his side kick - Ger. Tonight he somehow mixed up an explosion with a time slowing device, and so the explosion kept growing like an explosion but really slowly, and so Zim was able to move it away before it exploded too big. Not that it helped because he didn’t move it far away enough. It aptly caters to those with short attention spans, with two episodes in 30 minutes, like SpongeBob Squarepants.
Kevin (my flatmate in 2003) is back in Dunedin now, which is so weird. He left like 2 years ago and I've long since gotten used to living without him, I never expected to see him in Dunedin again. But he is here, and its a great thing because he is a great friend. I feel like its too good to be true actually. I feel like I don’t deserve to have such a good friend.
In fact I feel like I have far too many amazing friends in my life right now, like Im hording them from the world. Dont get me wrong I do just want to spend forever in the presence of such great people, but I feel like I’m not allowed too. Its against the laws of happiness. Who am I to deserve them. Yes I want them but it cant be true they actually want to be my friend. Argh where is all this coming from. I dont think I am this insecure. I mean hey I can admit that there are reasons why someone would want to be my friend (its OK Im not gonna list them). But I am still surprised when I find that this nice theory is actually a reality. Like when someone says ‘I miss such and such times with you’, or ‘I like this about you’, or when someone wants to do something with you, or when they go out of their way to do something for you. Like type out a 3 page summary of an episode of Lost you missed! Who am I to deserve this love. Whoooooooo am I? Who? Who?
Then there is the other side of me that clicks in and says ALERT ALERT cool person ALERT! Must do everything to get to know this person. This person is interesting, they will have a positive affect on me, I could learn from them, they inspire me, they make me laugh, they like what I like, and what I like is cool, we could have some good times. ALERT must accept all social opportunities including this person. Man I am so weird. Isn’t it weird that I sometimes feel undeserving of such friendships but seek them out nonetheless. Does anyone relate?
With friends that I no longer see often, I am in danger of relegating them to memory status. Thankfully this status has partially been diminished by blogging. I think It is probably why having Kevin back is so weird. I remembered the good times in the past and thought - yeah ill see him again... when I visit Singapore, but Dunedin with Kevin is over. But its not, new memories are still to come and what a blessing it is. Now on the other hand I can actually think of times where seeing people again from the “past” was not so weird, e.g. catching up with friends back in Hamilton, or seeing Sam and Brendan this summer. These times just seemed normal, like we just picked up where we had left off, maybe that was becasue It hadnt been as long since I last saw them, maybe it was becasue I had been reading blogs, or maybe its just different with different people. Oh who knows, anyway that’s enough to think about for now.
Kevin (my flatmate in 2003) is back in Dunedin now, which is so weird. He left like 2 years ago and I've long since gotten used to living without him, I never expected to see him in Dunedin again. But he is here, and its a great thing because he is a great friend. I feel like its too good to be true actually. I feel like I don’t deserve to have such a good friend.
In fact I feel like I have far too many amazing friends in my life right now, like Im hording them from the world. Dont get me wrong I do just want to spend forever in the presence of such great people, but I feel like I’m not allowed too. Its against the laws of happiness. Who am I to deserve them. Yes I want them but it cant be true they actually want to be my friend. Argh where is all this coming from. I dont think I am this insecure. I mean hey I can admit that there are reasons why someone would want to be my friend (its OK Im not gonna list them). But I am still surprised when I find that this nice theory is actually a reality. Like when someone says ‘I miss such and such times with you’, or ‘I like this about you’, or when someone wants to do something with you, or when they go out of their way to do something for you. Like type out a 3 page summary of an episode of Lost you missed! Who am I to deserve this love. Whoooooooo am I? Who? Who?
Then there is the other side of me that clicks in and says ALERT ALERT cool person ALERT! Must do everything to get to know this person. This person is interesting, they will have a positive affect on me, I could learn from them, they inspire me, they make me laugh, they like what I like, and what I like is cool, we could have some good times. ALERT must accept all social opportunities including this person. Man I am so weird. Isn’t it weird that I sometimes feel undeserving of such friendships but seek them out nonetheless. Does anyone relate?
With friends that I no longer see often, I am in danger of relegating them to memory status. Thankfully this status has partially been diminished by blogging. I think It is probably why having Kevin back is so weird. I remembered the good times in the past and thought - yeah ill see him again... when I visit Singapore, but Dunedin with Kevin is over. But its not, new memories are still to come and what a blessing it is. Now on the other hand I can actually think of times where seeing people again from the “past” was not so weird, e.g. catching up with friends back in Hamilton, or seeing Sam and Brendan this summer. These times just seemed normal, like we just picked up where we had left off, maybe that was becasue It hadnt been as long since I last saw them, maybe it was becasue I had been reading blogs, or maybe its just different with different people. Oh who knows, anyway that’s enough to think about for now.
posted by Justin at
2:28 pm
