The mess on my desk is like a snake on the lake

What a mess is on my desk. I wonder if you could psycho analyse my desk and discover everything about me, including the elusive internal workings of my mind, the ups and downs and many shades of the emotions of my heart, including all I love and all I hate, including everything I already know about me, and all that is still a mystery. I wonder but I doubt, because all I see is: drink bottle, keys, lamp, a pot of pens, hair gel, another drink bottle, another hair gel (so weird cause I hardly ever use the stuff these days!), a white china plate - littered with crumbs of toast (toast which was ploughman’s rye, one with peanut butter one with marmalade, both inside me now), I see two pens oh wait one is a pencil in disguise, a photocopy card – upside down and proclaiming ownership by ‘Justin’, deodorant, cheque book, cello tape, scissors, SpongeBob SquarePants, sunglasses, a rewritable CD, notes from Benna’s Sermon on Sunday night (all about Psalm 62: 5-8), ipod mini, ipod min USB cable, a letter from WINZ that has since been used as scrap paper – covered in scrawlings, a half finished cup of coffee – cold, more bits of paper, a mug rest (I actually cant remember the offical name for these things!), and this laptop. Who am I?

Well I sure don’t have to pay $3000 to figure that question out, I hope. That’s the price of Outward Bound, a course that helps you discover yourself. Initially I thought it was all about doing extreme adventure stuff, but it seems like its all about giving lost people some motivation/inspiration. Maybe they should just go to the big GOD, its free, sort of. There is tithes and there is the whole give up your life and follow me (Jesus) thing, actually it costs more to be a Christian than to do outward bound. Imagine if the price of Outward Bound was – no sex before marriage! Ha try that for cost, I scoff at your $3000 dollars!

If you could buy your way into heaven, would you? $3000 dollars and you were guaranteed a place in the illustrious heaven? What a bargain! I so would if it was true, which people used to think it was (see the movie Luther, or if you have already seen the movie simply recall it from memory so as to complement the previous sentence, or if you have not seen the move but have studied or in some way acquired a detailed knowledge of church history then you may do the same as those who simply watched the move, though you may sit back chuffed and secure in the superiority and greater depth of your knowledge. thank you). It makes me mad that people got told stuff like that! Argh, and it wasn’t even their fault that they believed, cause they weren’t even allowed to read the bible for themselves. Gosh!

I have to share with you about the speck in my eye. Wait I know what you are thinking... your thinking... 0h! My! Go0dness! look at the speck in his eye! SINNER! But you would be wrong, well ok I am a sinner, as are you, but that is beside the point. You see there was a speck in my eye and it was of the colour white (though some would say - color, and still others would say - white is not even a colour simply a reflection of all the colours. People like this are just too cool!). When I looked in the mirror I saw white in my eye, white on the brown/hazel part of my eye – as in not the typical place for the white parts to be. It wouldn’t move with blinking. It was kind of freaky to look at, especially cause I couldn’t feel it, I could have happily gone on with the rest of the day and just left it there. But then all the caring people I know would have keept telling me that I had “something in my eye”. So I had to touch my eyeball to move it, which is actually harder than I thought it would be. Every time my finger got close to touching I would blink, so I had to hold my eye lid open with one hand and touch with the other. Eventually everything was resolved and I went on with life, speckless, and wondering. After all if I had a speck in my eye then theologically there must be someone out there, in front of a mirror, shocked by the sight of a log in their own eye.