Disappointment and Hope

Ya know I really do struggle to come up with blogs these days. Its Sunday and it seems that Sunday is when I leave blog writing till because Its my day off real work. This morning Pastor Mike0 preached on sowing and reaping it was funny and true and also timely because I have been thinking a little about this subject recently. Mostly in that my relationship with god is not where I want it to be because I don’t really give it the time and focus it needs to develop. Im looking forward to Dan’s sermon tonight which is about desiring god.

I feel like I need some rest, some stillness.

Im glad that I can see my research is going to wrap up soon, so that I can start writing my thesis. I do fear though that I might not make it in time for August graduation. Which would be terrible because my parents already have flights down! I really hope that the writing process will go smoothly and that the marking will be done in time for August. I think I will need gods help to make this happen. There are so many experiments I wanted to do but never got done. But I have been doing this for long enough now and I have to stop somewhere. I should have enough to write about anyway. Still its hard to not feel like a failure. Oh science you illustrious wonder that sucked me in with all your glory and beat me down by confusing the truth and drained my passion with your countless obstacles. Sometimes you have to accept the disappointment and not let it become discouragement which is a terrible scourge of productivity. If I could do this all again I would do so much differently! I guess that is a good thing, at least I have learnt a lot. I have had a taste of what doing a PhD might be like. Not easy that’s what! And at least being a Christian I can find hope in god, if only I would find it more often! Hope is very helpful.